Saturday, October 18, 2014

*-- Halloween Rules --*

Photo ©Pixabay

1. When it appears that you have killed the monster, NEVER check to see if it's really dead. 

2. Never read a book of demon summoning aloud, even as a joke. 

3. Do not search the basement, especially if the power has gone out. 

4. As a general rule, do not solve puzzles that open portals to Hell. 

5. Never stand in, on, or above a grave, tomb, or crypt. This would apply to any other house of the dead as well. 

6. If you're searching for something which caused a loud noise and find out that it's just the cat, GET THE HELL OUT! 

7. If appliances start operating by themselves, do not check for short circuits; just get out! 

8. Do not take ANYTHING from the dead. 

9. If you find a town which looks deserted, there's probably a good reason for it. Don't stop and look around, just leave while you still can. 

10. If you're running from the scary zombie, demon or ghost, expect to trip or fall down at least twice. Also note that, despite the fact that you are running and the scary entity is merely shambling along, it's still moving fast enough to catch up with you. 

11. If your companions suddenly begins to show deeply disturbing behavior such as hissing, a sudden fascination for blood, glowing eyes, increasing hairiness, and so on, kill them immediately. 

12. Stay away from certain geographical locations, some of which are listed here: Any New Orleans Cemetery, Amityville, Elm Street, Transylvania, Nilbog (you're in trouble if you recognize this one), the deep woods of West Virginia, or any small town in Maine, Vermont, Connecticut or New Hampshire. 

13. If your car runs out of gas at night on a lonely road, do not go to the nearby deserted looking house to phone for help. If you think that it is strange because you thought you had 3/4 of a tank, shoot yourself instead. You are going to die anyway, and most likely be eaten. 

14. Beware of strangers carrying strange tools. For example: chainsaws, staple guns, hedge trimmers, electric carving knives, combines, lawnmowers, butane torches, soldering irons, band saws, or any device that will harm the living. 

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