Friday, April 24, 2015

A - Z Emotions Challenge : H - Handicapped

Many of readers are aware I am handicapped. Others have no clue unless I talk about it. I am one of those prime examples that you can't tell if someone is handicapped by looking at them.

I was shot by my estranged husband some years back. The bullet struck and went straight through my right calf. I have permanent nerve damage. I had my muscle blown out of one side of my leg. My right calf is smaller and is weaker than my left calf. I suffer from muscle spasms, chronic nerve pain, and my leg giving out on me for no reason. 

I am susceptible for falls. Which one nasty fall down a flight of stairs landed me in the hospital with a torn rotator cut. That healed, only for issues with my daughter for it to be hurt again. It is mostly healed now. I still have pains. If I cough hard, I feel pain, like my shoulder blade is going to pop out of my skin.  Another time I fell on cement, the whole side of my body was bruised from such a hard fall.

If I know I am going on long walks, I take my walking cane with me. As that will be my only means to keep walking with the amount of pain that comes. I walk slow to make sure I don't fall. Which irritates people. 

I have been called names because of my handicap. I have been made fun of. Worse of all. I have been told I am faking it. I am not faking it. I never have. People try to rate my pain and tell me I can do something when I clearly can not. I have been forced into situations which has humiliated me because of my handicap. Only to be told,"Oh my God! You really aren't faking it."

You see my leg isn't my only handicap. I also suffer with 4 pinched nerves in my spine and lower back. Two in my neck.  All from being rear ended within 6 months of being shot by my estranged husband. Plus, my hips randomly pop out of place from an issue when I was much younger. I have issues with my neck popping out of place causing severe migraines ever since the accident.

I have other unseen handicaps. Such as partial hearing in both ears. People think I am ignoring them or not listening. Really, I can't hear you. I especially have troubles in noisy places.

I am legally blind in my left eye. I have astigmatism in my right eye. I wear glasses I picked up from the Dollar Tree in order to be able to read. As everything is blurry without them. I am waiting for my two years to be up. So, I can be seen by a an eye doctor where my insurance will pay partial payment to get my eyes checked and get new glasses. 

I have Rheumatoid Arthritis, which places me in daily pain. I can tell when the rain is coming. As my whole body hurts and swells up. Some days I hurt so bad I can't pick up a laundry basket without being on tears.

I also found out a few years ago I am a type 2 diabetic. Which explains the issues I have been having with open wounds not healing properly or as fast as they once did.

Currently, I am between doctors. That means I am not taking any meds for my conditions. The pain is worse, its intense some days compared to others. The more I move the more I do. The worse the pain is.

I know people can't see my pain. There is no way they can rate my daily pain. I wish people would be a little be more understanding of my situation. Instead of thinking I am faking things because I can't keep up. 

It really hurts when family is the one telling you are faking a handicap. When you clearly aren't. One sibling made fun of  me and would repeatedly tell me I am faking it. This same sibling ended up breaking her ankle. It required metal pieces and screws to be fixed. She received her humility living in a wheelchair for awhile til she was able to regain her walking ability. Now this same sibling suffers from back pain that is requiring surgery. 

I am using my sibling as an example of what can happen if you humiliate a handicapped person. Things can change in a blink of an eye, where it can place you in the same position or worse than the handicap person you made fun of. Never tell someone they are faking it. Or their handicap isn't as bad as they making it out to be. You are not a doctor, judge or jury. 

Instead give compassion and try to understand where the handicapped person is coming from. Be polite. Ask if a handicapped person needs help. Don't assume they need it. As being handicapped I have figured out how to do daily routine things in a different way in order to still live a productive life without being stuck in a chair all day long. 

Here's a list of my other articles in this series :

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